What’s with all this Mommy Character Building?

 

Mornings are not my forte; I’m simply not an early riser.  Yes – I’m a mom, but I’m also human, and I need to sleep…..  I enjoy my sleep and love it when my body simply does the waking up for me.  It understands when I am completely rested … I’m sure you know what I mean, you crave it as much as I do…  that amazing feeling when you can wake up without the lethargic & sickening effects of poor sleep.

 

This morning was particularly hard as the night before I had experienced an incident with my eldest, in which he ended up behaving very badly in a drug store.  I had a complete meltdown and said things that no mother should EVER say to their child.  Honestly, I don’t even know where the words came from..   To make matters worse, the guilt & remorse was so intense that I just couldn’t sleep properly.  I spent most of the night trying to share the king size bed with my two restless sleepers – we were all pretty affected from the emotional windstorm.

 

So, here I was, 5:45AM this morning, waking myself up, feeling lousy as ever… trying to put my makeup on without completely looking like a sideshow.  Of course I drew my eyebrows in way to dark, and ended up with an angry bird frown – not pretty, especially when your two year old cocks his eyebrows and looks at you funny…  My usual routine involves the esthetics, getting dressing, getting the kids’ things together, and then loading up the car while they “TRY” to get dressed.  I also like to get the car running so it’s nice and toasty for when I bring the boys out – its a good feeling when your butt doesn’t experience an Antarctic tundra, I’m sure they’re happy about it too.

 

I was especially in a rush today as I had woken up late, and needed to get them dressed and out the door ASAP.  Trying to keep my cool, as getting any child 5 and under to do something at 6AM is next to impossible.. It’s a nag, seriously, sometimes I just want to leave them at home and drive off.  The repetitive “please”, “come on”, “do this”, “hurry up”… just doesn’t work.  ..And… finally!… We end up making out the door and to the car….. Oh and was that ever earth shattering.

 

I had somehow managed to lock my keys inside the car while it was running………. *BIG GUTTERAL SIGH*

And I so know….. that I serve an incredible and loving God.  I’m sure that he has a sense of humor too…   I don’t always understand him, but I get that he allows certain problems to unfold in my life.  Oh, and please don’t confuse “allow” and “creates”.  God will never create an issue – it’s simply not part of his character to do so.  He is incapable of chaos and disorder, instead he utilizes our problems to correct, test, direct, protect and perfect.  Oh and this so gets me!  Darnit!  Why can’t he just teach my kids to be a little more well-behaved? Or unlocked my car for me?

You see, much of my life has been spent going through trials.  For many years I would try my hardest to get out of a trial.  Oh you’d laugh or cringe at some of the idiocincrecies..  I would be SO thankful when it was over, and quickly resume where I’d left off – Hahahah.. typical female!  And so, these trials kept happening and happening as I failed to see how God was trying to use these situations to teach me grace, love, poise, wisdom, understanding, temperance, joy, thanksgiving, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, forgiveness, humility, courage, friendship, honesty, truthfulness, gratitude, responsibility, attentiveness, diligence, discretion, reverence…  it’s a lot to learn when  you’re a Mom, trust me – and you need it all!

 

I reacted and still react foolishly, in resentment and ill mannerism rather than taking time to consider what benefit the situation might bring or how my actions are affecting the people around me.  I hurt those I love the most when I react, instead of respond… 

 

Oh and talk about humor…. Where we see stress God sees opportunities – big ones. Where we see crisis, He sees growth and betterment – although the process I find to be painful. God’s purpose in times of crisis and trouble is to teach precious lessons – and sometimes I just don’t GET IT!  They are intended to educate, and build us up. And when we learn from them and ride out these storms of life, they prepare us for greater moments of strife and great JOY!….

 

In reflection, I realize that my behavior yesterday towards my kids misbehaving, the things I said, and this morning’s “Car” incident, were both meant to test and correct.  Unfortunately for me, I didn’t take time to realize today that what I really should have done was pay attention to my two little boys who I’d hurt – instead I fretted about my situation over Facebook and to everyone I know… … I have to rethink my strategy.  I have take the time to truly come to God in humility and not to the World in negativity.  Because time is truly short, and a Mother’s work is the most precious on Earth.

 

“We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.” – Unknown