Tag Archives: forgiveness

Move On – Forget the Past, Live for the Future

3 Nov

A friend of mine on Facebook today posted one of the most powerful messages I’ve read in the longest time.  I make no secret of being the philosopher, visionary, dreamer, and charismatic writer when it comes to all things life.. however, this just blew anything I could ever hope to write straight out of the water.  The man in question who orchestrated this thought provoking message, Tyler Perry.  As I cannot add to his post, I will simply relay it below in his words, and hope that it touches your heart as it has mine.

“Here’s a thought (I DON’T WANT YOU TO DO THIS, JUST THINK ABOUT IT). Get into the front seat of your car, then turn your body around. Knees on the front seat with your back on the steering wheel, your face looking toward the trunk. Stay in that position and try to drive the car forward. It’s impossible, right? If by some miracle you do manage to go forward I guarantee you won’t get very far. If the car represents our lives then the way we are sitting in the driver’s seat represents the way we approach it. It’s really hard to move on when you’re looking the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with the car… what is wrong is the position some of us are sitting in, meaning there is nothing wrong with your life, and you’re just facing the wrong direction. There are many things that can cause you to be out of alignment with life, but instead of focusing on the many, I’d like to talk about one thing in particular… And that is GUILT.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. He was telling me about all the guilt that he feels. Guilt that his marriage fell apart. Guilt that he doesn’t get to see his kids very often. Guilt that he’s not in a financial position to do more for them. Guilt over the mistakes he’s made in his past. Guilt over lots of money that he wasted doing the wrong things. So much guilt about everything.

I had to stop him and remind him of a few things. What I know about guilt is this: guilt is a tool that is used to destroy you. We all make mistakes. We all have fallen short. We have all disappointed someone, including ourselves at some point. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. It’s done. Instead of beating yourself up about it, how about putting that same energy into making sure that it doesn’t happen again and healing anyone who may have been hurt by it?

You can’t let guilt win or consume you. You can’t let it take over your thoughts because if you do, you will start a downward spiral. It’s like this… guilt is the trick that makes you feel that you’re unworthy, and if you feel that you’re unworthy then you will feel that you don’t deserve any good thing to happen to you. And so, as a man thinks so is he. If you think you don’t deserve good things you will never have good things. And when things are falling apart you will feel guilty that they are falling apart. Do you see the cycle? There is no winning here. In order to be free and be lifted you must let go of the guilt or it will keep you bound.

How do you do that? Well, it’s a process, but you start by asking forgiveness of whomever you hurt, ask forgiveness of God, and most of all ask forgiveness of yourself. Although God forgives us most easily, we sometimes can’t forgive ourselves. You can’t get to great things ahead if you’re always looking behind you. It’s like trying to drive your car in that awkward position.”

Light and Love,
Jessica

What’s with all this Mommy Character Building?

8 May

 

Mornings are not my forte; I’m simply not an early riser.  Yes – I’m a mom, but I’m also human, and I need to sleep…..  I enjoy my sleep and love it when my body simply does the waking up for me.  It understands when I am completely rested … I’m sure you know what I mean, you crave it as much as I do…  that amazing feeling when you can wake up without the lethargic & sickening effects of poor sleep.

 

This morning was particularly hard as the night before I had experienced an incident with my eldest, in which he ended up behaving very badly in a drug store.  I had a complete meltdown and said things that no mother should EVER say to their child.  Honestly, I don’t even know where the words came from..   To make matters worse, the guilt & remorse was so intense that I just couldn’t sleep properly.  I spent most of the night trying to share the king size bed with my two restless sleepers – we were all pretty affected from the emotional windstorm.

 

So, here I was, 5:45AM this morning, waking myself up, feeling lousy as ever… trying to put my makeup on without completely looking like a sideshow.  Of course I drew my eyebrows in way to dark, and ended up with an angry bird frown – not pretty, especially when your two year old cocks his eyebrows and looks at you funny…  My usual routine involves the esthetics, getting dressing, getting the kids’ things together, and then loading up the car while they “TRY” to get dressed.  I also like to get the car running so it’s nice and toasty for when I bring the boys out – its a good feeling when your butt doesn’t experience an Antarctic tundra, I’m sure they’re happy about it too.

 

I was especially in a rush today as I had woken up late, and needed to get them dressed and out the door ASAP.  Trying to keep my cool, as getting any child 5 and under to do something at 6AM is next to impossible.. It’s a nag, seriously, sometimes I just want to leave them at home and drive off.  The repetitive “please”, “come on”, “do this”, “hurry up”… just doesn’t work.  ..And… finally!… We end up making out the door and to the car….. Oh and was that ever earth shattering.

 

I had somehow managed to lock my keys inside the car while it was running………. *BIG GUTTERAL SIGH*

And I so know….. that I serve an incredible and loving God.  I’m sure that he has a sense of humor too…   I don’t always understand him, but I get that he allows certain problems to unfold in my life.  Oh, and please don’t confuse “allow” and “creates”.  God will never create an issue – it’s simply not part of his character to do so.  He is incapable of chaos and disorder, instead he utilizes our problems to correct, test, direct, protect and perfect.  Oh and this so gets me!  Darnit!  Why can’t he just teach my kids to be a little more well-behaved? Or unlocked my car for me?

You see, much of my life has been spent going through trials.  For many years I would try my hardest to get out of a trial.  Oh you’d laugh or cringe at some of the idiocincrecies..  I would be SO thankful when it was over, and quickly resume where I’d left off – Hahahah.. typical female!  And so, these trials kept happening and happening as I failed to see how God was trying to use these situations to teach me grace, love, poise, wisdom, understanding, temperance, joy, thanksgiving, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, forgiveness, humility, courage, friendship, honesty, truthfulness, gratitude, responsibility, attentiveness, diligence, discretion, reverence…  it’s a lot to learn when  you’re a Mom, trust me – and you need it all!

 

I reacted and still react foolishly, in resentment and ill mannerism rather than taking time to consider what benefit the situation might bring or how my actions are affecting the people around me.  I hurt those I love the most when I react, instead of respond… 

 

Oh and talk about humor…. Where we see stress God sees opportunities – big ones. Where we see crisis, He sees growth and betterment – although the process I find to be painful. God’s purpose in times of crisis and trouble is to teach precious lessons – and sometimes I just don’t GET IT!  They are intended to educate, and build us up. And when we learn from them and ride out these storms of life, they prepare us for greater moments of strife and great JOY!….

 

In reflection, I realize that my behavior yesterday towards my kids misbehaving, the things I said, and this morning’s “Car” incident, were both meant to test and correct.  Unfortunately for me, I didn’t take time to realize today that what I really should have done was pay attention to my two little boys who I’d hurt – instead I fretted about my situation over Facebook and to everyone I know… … I have to rethink my strategy.  I have take the time to truly come to God in humility and not to the World in negativity.  Because time is truly short, and a Mother’s work is the most precious on Earth.

 

“We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.” – Unknown

 

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