Tag Archives: Depression

The Warm Apple Pie Project

18 Jun

Last night I had such a great conversation with Gary Jones, @financialrunner, on our need for #community.  We need more of it, and in abundance.  People are craving the #social interactions that it brings as never before. Our physical, spiritual, and emotional health are suffering because of the disconnect we now experience.  Yet, it’s a known fact that those who live in small communities with interdependent relationships have greater health & well-being!

An example of this disconnect is Depression.  Have you ever wondered why it’s so predominant today?  Believe it or not, not everyone has a loving spouse, family or friends to lean on when their dealing with hard thoughts or tough issues.  Many people have to deal with their own thoughts and problems on their own… and that “loneliness” can lead to some serious mental health issues.  But there is hope… there’s actually an old saying that when facing an issue, “once the Village knows about it, it isn’t a problem anymore”.

Do you why?  

Because when we genuinely unburden ourselves to the people who care about us and love us, our problem is no longer faced alone.  There is now a network of able bodied citizens who step up to do whatever is necessary in helping us cope emotionally and mentally, they may cook us meals and clean our home, they may take us out for coffee, and they may help us come up with tools to manage our problems. Unfortunately, in North America, this type of interdependence is unheard of.

We instead work 12-16 hour days, trying to keep up with the Joneses, instead of being our authentic selves.  We have no time to share our authenticity with others.  We’re too busy wearing masks, we have mass amounts responsibilities, places to be, money to spend, and technology to distract us from true connections.

We are even hesitant to share information with those closest to us because society teaches us that no one is trustworthy enough, no one can ever #LOVE US enough or accept us for who we TRULY are, and that gossip is too easily created because #integrity is non-existent.

Is this the world you want to live in?  I DON’T! 

This isn’t the version of planet earth that I signed up for, nor is it the type of #community setting that I want to live in or raise my children in.


I’m going to put this challenge out to you today because I’d like to start something…

I’m inviting you to BE RADICAL.

THE CHALLENGE:  We all know that food is the way to almost anyone’s heart.  Your Challenge should you wish to accept it, is to connect with someone, anyone, by baking them a Warm Apple Pie.  You can bake Warm Apple Pie cookies, Muffins, Quiches, Loaves, or Bars.. get CREATIVE!  Anything that embodies that warm wonderful feeling of coming home is what it’s all about, and then delivering the baked goods with a note to someone that let’s them know who you are and that you care.  Do it as often or as little as you want.  Take photos of your journey, and tag it to your Instagram, Twitter or Facebook under #TheWarmApplePieProject..

Why being sick just REALLY SUCKS!

10 Jun

Yep, you heard it.  Being sick is one of those things that just tears your life apart, in one of those atomic type of ways.  

It just all seems so much BIGGER when you’re experiencing it.

It all started about 8 months ago – while driving, I had a seizure.  I’ve never had one before, and as I looked over at my mom and promptly told her I thought I was about to die, my head rolled back and I blacked out.  Thankfully a few seconds before I had quickly pulled over as I had felt the “aura” appear, and all I could think of in that moment was, “Is this really my last moment on earth?”..  

An ambulance was called and two extremely hott fireman were there when I woke up, taking my vitals, asking me all the right questions, which is when I then wondered if this was heaven.. (they were seriously THAT hott). I guess that’s the bonus you get when you’ve experienced a traumatic event. 

What then led to several more strange and crazy episodes in which I thought my world was unraveling at an all too speedy pace, was a diagnosis that I was suffering with severe depression and anxiety.  But that’s not all, a CAT scan then revealed that I had a meningioma (a tumor) on the right frontal lobe of my brain, and things just got seriously uncertain for me.  A lot of questions were asked, and although the doctors seemed super positive that it had nothing to do with what I was experiencing – I wasn’t so sure.

illnessI mean, I’ve got this thing sitting on my brain, how bad could things possibly get!?

Fast forward many more episodes, debilitating migraines, nausea, and body pains that makes labor seem like a trip to Baskin Robbins for my favorite Tiger Balm, and you’ve got me HERE.  Sitting at my computer, unable to do much else than stare at this screen simply wondering what’s next?  I’ve got a family counting on me, clients I love that need me, places I want to be, and things I want to see, but I’m STUCK!

I, right now, have to deal with, THIS!.. Yes, THIS!  

This stupid condition that’s left me paralyzed in fear. And I have no idea what to expect or what prognosis will come of today’s rounds of blood tests, or that of my EEG (Electroencephalography) at the end of this week, but what I do know is this.

Fear will suck the life out of you, quite literally.  It will take all joy, all faith, and all ability to cope from you, while you’re not watching.  It will sneak into your dreams and tell you wicked untruths that test your ability to even wake up.

And I seriously want to wake up, every morning!… 

So, as I sat up crying this morning at 3AM pleading my case with the Almighty, I realized that I was seriously OVER-THINKING this entire thing.  I was allowing fear to take hold of me and forgetting to trust in the Greatest Healer.  I was giving up my power to one serious unknown, instead of staring life straight in the face and LIVING.

Yes, I feel like crap, I hate waking up to headaches every morning, I feel like I could puke buckets 24/7 even though it never seems to happen, I cannot stand the fact that I experience vertigo most days, and that my hair is falling out (yes, as in I brush, and handfuls of hair cling to the bristles).

YEAH.. this freaking sucks.

But I’ve also come to a conclusion.  That pain can also be caused by the effort of nature to give life and vigor to the parts of ourselves that have become lifeless through inaction.  It’s almost like an awaking.  We can choose the high road or cling to death.  And that it is in moments like these that I need to trust my faithful Creator.  In understanding that it is a human privilege to show in my weakness and illness that I have no doubt of his love towards me, and that he has promised to take care of me.


Because thing is, God has no expectations in you having to conquer your illness… or mine.

All we are called to do is REST.

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